TNG Episode 1: Encounter at Farpoint

To kick us off with style, Captain Picard, whose voice is so much fun to listen to, delivers exposition through the Captain’s Log.

We’re introduced to some of the new main characters. Commander Data, Counselor Deanna Troi, Lieutenants Tasha Yar and Worf. And, of course, the charismatic, judgmental, and hypocritical entity known as Q. I’ll tackle each of them in their own sections in a later post.

Side note: In this episode, everyone on the bridge is wearing a Starfleet uniform, albeit in different colors. In case those colors confuse you, like they did me, here’s a quote from Wikipedia: “…the uniform’s sleeves and abdominal area are colored to indicate the individual’s division, with red indicating command and helm; gold for engineering, security, and operations; and blue for science and medical.” The more you know.

They sure do start things off quick, don’t they? We haven’t even seen the opening credits yet and already there’s a wacky 17th century conquistador on the bridge. It’s gonna be a loooong voyage, Captain Picard.

Then, Q “freezes” a redshirt solid for trying to sneak up on him with a phaser. A phaser on stun. Picard is not pleased.

I put quotes around “freezes” because the special effects are pretty terrible, even for the time. Oh well. Hopefully they learned their lesson and they’ll stick to lightshows next time.

Side note: out here in the real world, if you freeze someone solid, they die. This is because ice crystals form from the water in and around our cells – recall that we’re mostly water – and rupture them. There’s no medical tech, short of maybe an army of nanites in your bloodstream and brain, that can fix that. There’s a field of science that has partially solved this problem, using a process called vitrification to safely cryopreserve living tissue – in fact, that’s how cryonic life extension works, in principle – but something tells me Q didn’t bother to do a proper vitrification of that poor redshirt. The episode later tells us that the med bay was able to save him. Okay, Star Trek Biology, whatever you say.

I still feel like we need some kind of a penalty box for stuff like this. Oooo! I know!

"He's Not Really Dead, Jim" Counter: 1

I feel better now.

Anyway…the fact that med bay needed to save this poor redshirt tells us that Q has no compunctions about killing people who inconvenience him.

Well, we knew that already, sort of, given that he threatened Picard and the entire crew with death unless they turned back. Specifically, he says: “Now go back…or thou shalt most certainly die.” Which he…then proceeded to falsify later in the episode. So Q is not only godlike and callous, he also either a) deliberately lies for dramatic effect, b) bullshits for dramatic effect, or c) doesn’t know himself well enough to reliably predict his own actions. In any case, we can now add “untrustworthy” to his list of flaws.

Why the distinction between lying and bullshitting? Well, there’s a book on the long version, but the short version is that liars deliberately construct false stories and then tell them, whereas bullshitters just say whatever. Bullshitters waste no conscious effort on discerning truth from falsehood, they just…talk. Perhaps you know of a public figure like this?

Ahem. I don’t think Q is necessarily lying or bullshitting, here. I think the likeliest scenario is that Q intends to kill everyone on the Enterprise. He just botches the “trial” and gets outwitted, strung up by his own promises. As gods go, not particularly impressive.

PICARD: “Using printout only, notify all decks to prepare for maximum acceleration.”

See, this is something I really like about Star Trek. This order isn’t high-tech gibberish, it actually makes a lot of sense. Electromagnetic signals might reach outside the hull of the Enterprise, and there’s no knowing what this Q might be able to pick up. So we turn off all signals. It’s the Star Trek equivalent of radio silence. Sure, there may be some holes in the idea, but you can see what they’re going for. Bravo.

This whole sequence is pretty cool. And it makes sense to me, tactically. Get the civilians – are there civilians on board? I guess so – out of the path of the angry unreasonable god, as best you can. Distract them with torpedoes, split the ship, turn around and hopefully keep Cthul-Q busy. It doesn’t work, but it’s a darn good try.

“Dead stop.”

Um…writers…you do know that velocity is relative, right? And that in the middle of space, the concept of “stopping” is kind of meaningless? Okay, good, just checking.

I know, I know, television.

Oh huh, and when the proton photon torpedos go off outside the viewscreen, there’s no sound. They actually got that right. This time, anyway.

Trivia: You know how in the Star Wars movies, there are loud explosions whenever something blows up in space? You know how this gets endless flak from us geeks who know there’s no sound in space, etc., etc.? So, in the books (well, the later ones at least, the good ones, the ones Disney declared null and void and replaced with garbage, GRAWR!), some of the authors take care to explain how the starfighters have built-in sensors that measure stuff going on outside in space and translate that into sounds for the pilot’s benefit. So if you are flying in a dogfight and you hear “pew pew” from behind you, you dodge. It’s this incredibly clever and well-justified bit of retconning and I love this sort of thing.

PICARD: “We surrender.”

Holy cow, this show does not pull punches. There are a lot of little differences here, between TNG and TOS. Can you imagine Captain Kirk giving that order, scant minutes after detaching the saucer and manning something called the “battle bridge”? Once again, though, Captain Picard has the right of it. Q’s basically a god. Your weapons won’t even phase him.

Thought you’d get through one of my posts without a pun? Heh. Nope.

But What About the Extras?

So, the Enterprise bridge crew gets teleported to a grimy 2079 courtroom.

With people in it.

Okay. I know this is another television thing, but bear with me for a moment. Think like a starship captain.

Who are these people? Are they real, conscious beings that Q created? Is he mind-controlling or puppeting them all not to notice that the strangers who just got dumped in their court don’t look at all like they belong? Are they illusions? Copies of a historical court? A bunch of volunteer Q’s wearing human faces for a lark?

Do any of them know or care that they have about 10 minutes to live?

For their sake, I hope they’re illusions.

This isn’t even the worst thing Q pulls. Not by a long shot. But it’s another black mark against him.

So then Q flies in on a floating chair, attired like Darth Sidious. I don’t know why his minions look more like something out of Monty Python, it sort of ruins the effect, but there you go.

DATA: “At least we’re acquainted with the judge…”

Whatever Data’s faults, no one can claim he lacks a sense of humor. Dry as a Death Valley swimming pool, but he’s got one.

Tasha makes an impassioned speech condemning Q and his terrible court, venting some of the viewer’s frustration and giving us a hint of her backstory in the process. (nice writing!)

Q, unimpressed, “freezes” her, in blatant violation of the promise he made sixty seconds ago not to hurt the prisoners. (Didn’t the special effects people learn their lesson the last time?) While Denise Crosby lies on the ground, covered in a thin layer of foam and paint and trying unsuccessfully not to twitch, Picard and company manage to talk Q into “thawing” her out. Hopefully they never try to use that particular special effect again. Twice was painful enough.

"He's Not Really Dead, Jim" Counter: 2

Despite being strong-armed into confessing guilt by threats to his crew, Captain Picard, always on top of things, reminds Q of his own promises, which the god seems to have forgotten. Data nails it, complete with the voices.

DATA: “Captain Picard said, ‘Can we assume this will be a fair trial?’ And the judge stated, ‘Yes. Absolutely equitable.'”

Ooooh, zing. I kinda figured that quoting “The prisoners will not be harmed until they’re found guilty” would be enough. But I guess this works too.

In this episode, we learn (or are reminded?) that 2079 was a bad time for Earth. The Post-Apocalyptic Horror. Soldiers controlled through drugs, kangaroo courts, evil empires, the works.

Honestly…yeah, pretty realistic. Heck, US soldiers did a ridiculous amount of drugs in Vietnam, the drug thing isn’t even a new idea. Though I’m not sure it improved morale, back then.

Frankly, the Star Trek Earth is lucky they even had a civilization in 2079, if “Post-Apocalyptic” means the obvious thing. “Nuking ourselves to oblivion” is probably the #2 most likely existential threat to human civilization this century, right below “imperfectly programmed superintelligence.”

Eventually, Q agrees to “test” the crew of the Enterprise by seeing if they can solve the mystery of Farpoint Station, which was where they were headed in the first place. I’m not sure why he agrees to this; he kind of has them over a barrel. He seems to think it would be interesting to test them and watch them fail. Still, it’s good of him to let them get on with it, don’t you think?

And Introducing…

After this harrowing ride, the final third of the episode takes us to Farpoint Station, where the Enterprise is headed. We meet Commander William T. Riker and one Groppler Zorn, who looks a lot like Miracle Max from The Princess Bride.

Zorn is a member of the Bandi species, yet another unique race from a faroff star that looks and acts exactly like humans by sheer evolutionary coincidence.

Zorn and Riker engage in some polite verbal sparring in which Riker attempts to figure out where a mysteriously conjured bowl of apples comes from and how the Bandi managed to construct such a convenient space station for their Federation visitors in such a short time. Zorn deflects him. Politely.

Then, after Riker has left, Zorn…talks to the air, seemingly berating something for so blatantly conjuring the apples Riker wanted. It will arouse their suspicion, he says, and threatens punishment. Ominous.

Next, a composed and competent medical officer, the delightful Dr. Beverly Crusher, makes our acquaintance. When she first meets Riker, she thinks he’s trying to pull a fast one with all his talk about conjured apples.

Then a bolt of cloth changes in front of her eyes, and she backtracks brilliantly. More on that later.

We are introduced to Commander Riker’s inexhaustible array of impossibly smug facial expressions. (You think I’m joking. I have pictures. But they’ll wait a bit.)

We also meet this sad fellow. All he ever does is stare creepily at the crew of the Enterprise while they shop. I didn’t pick up on this the first time around, but I think I may know who he is.

After beaming up to the Enterprise (teleporters: still cool) Riker gets briefed on the Q situation. And by “briefed” I mean Picard sends him over to watch an educational video about it. On the one hand, good way to speed up the plot. On the other hand, I really wanted to see Captain Picard and company try to explain the last thirty minutes.

To Riker’s credit, he takes it in stride.

Manually, Sir?

There are a couple of awkward scenes here with Picard and Riker, with Picard refusing to look in Riker’s direction and Riker standing around looking confused. Even Yar isn’t sure how to handle it. I’m not entirely sure what they were going for here. Picard is distracted, pondering Q’s threats and impending doom? Picard is showing Riker who’s boss?

Then Picard orders Riker to dock “manually” with the Enterprise saucer module.

Excuse me for a moment. I need to see a man about an eyebrow.

Given the looks on Data’s and Yar’s faces when the docking starts, I don’t think this is normal procedure. The show assures us that Riker is “qualified” for manual docking, whatever that means, but…this just doesn’t seem wise.

I do risk analysis for a living. I also work with, and near, heavy machinery and large things that can explode violently without warning, controlled by a mix of computers and human operators. And call me a technophile, but if I’m running a complex but routine operation that requires precise timing and pinpoint accuracy, and I have to pick a human or a well-programmed computer to run it, I will pick the computer every time. Even when my life depends on it. Especially when my life depends on it.

Computers don’t make mistakes. They can have mistakes in them, we call that a “bug,” a “glitch,” or a “fried squirrel” (don’t ask),  but they never make mistakes. People do. If Riker botches this, a lot of people might die.

If Riker knows this – and he should, he’s “qualified” – then he ought to be objecting a little more strenuously here. Human error is real and shockingly high even in the best of scenarios. There’s a whole industry standard on that, and it bears the wonderful name of THERP. (Yes.)

You can’t improve on human error by trying harder, either, whatever the television logic may say. People have tried; it doesn’t work. If you want an explosion named after you, try it yourself. Preferably somewhere remote.

If Riker were properly humble, he might consider pointing this out. He might also consider asking, as politely as he possibly can, what the heck his captain is thinking. Even an 0.1% chance that Riker botches this is an unacceptable risk to be taking with the lives of one’s crew and passengers. Not if there’s any other possible way to achieve whatever it is Picard is after.

I guess you could argue that if Riker is going to be incompetent, it’d be better to find out now, in a controlled situation. Or as controlled as Picard can make it with Q breathing down his neck. But it just seems like there ought to be a better way to test your first officer’s competence than giving him sole control of a giant rocket-powered battering ram aimed at an occupied skyscraper in zero-G.

Do military officers normally pull this sort of stuff on their subordinates? Or is this just Star Trek’s way of showing how dashing Riker is? Inquiring eyebrows want to know.

Anyway, Riker succeeds (of course) and we get more cool starship stuff and theme music.

Of note: immediately after Riker completes this seemingly difficult maneuver, everyone on the bridge warms up to him. He earns a proud grin from the helmsman, a genuine smile from Yar, and even Data gives him a look that almost manages to emote. If this was what Picard was after, he succeeded brilliantly, and the show managed to capture the moment extremely well.

Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe the worst that could have happened was that the automatic safeties kick in and there’s an unpleasant and frightening “thump.” (There are always automatic safeties, and if you ever turn them off for anything short of a rampaging buffalo you need your head examined. They are called “safeties” for a reason.)

But this still seems like a needless risk. I hope nobody sees this and thinks it’s a great way to test their new airline pilots. Keep it to the simulations, please.

Then Riker and Picard have one final chat, in which we see some amazing writing and acting at work. I can’t do it justice here.

RIKER: “Permission to speak candidly, sir?”

PICARD: “Always.”

Yes.

Also, in a rare moment of weakness, Picard admits his discomfort with children, and asks for Riker to back him up should he need it.

!!!!!!

Man, I love Captain Picard. Platonically. As a friend. Or a favorite uncle.

And Picard nonchalantly sips tea like a true mastermind, and Riker grins smugly once again. All is right with the world.

And evening came and morning followed, the first episode.

I want to talk about the characters, but this is shaping up to be a rather long post as it is. So we’ll continue in the next post.

Bonus

D&D fans: what character attributes, or stats, do Picard, Data, and Riker represent? Your choices are Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. Stay tuned next time, for my own ill-advised pattern-matching attempt!