Break it all down
Recently someone asked me: “If you build a automaton, and it goes out and kills someone by following your preloaded inputs, is it put on trial for murder, or are you?” Good question. Disclaimer: In all the EXTREMELY FICTIONAL cases below, the judge is following Joe’s ethical framework rather than any actual legal precedent. Any … Read more
I dreamed a stupid story, so now I’m inflicting it on you. One became two. Two became one. One became two again. The Lightning Brothers had arrived at Castle Grey. They bore the fabled weapons, and they were here to slay a legend. The Dread Nor’thuulbarax the Second, Lord of Darkness, Eldritch Necromancer, and Lord … Read more
Like Encounter at Farpoint, this episode is actually two distinct plotlines that happen at the same time, but that only sort of interact with one another. The opening exposition sequence tells us the first plotline: The Enterprise is to deliver delegates from two warring species to a peace talk at a “neutral conference planet” called … Read more
The Original Series said “where no man has gone before.” Huzzah for slowly getting less sexist! The TNG episode is actually called “Where No One Have Gone Before.” Boo for terrible grammar! We begin this episode with a puzzle. A scientist, one Kosinski, is going to visit the Enterprise for some propulsion tests. Naturally, he … Read more
In this episode, we finally meet the mysterious Ferengi. One of their ships stole a “T9 energy converter” from a Federation outpost, so the Enterprise has been asked to chase them down. As they approach an unfamiliar planet, some unknown force grabs the Enterprise and holds it fast. Its power seems to increase to match … Read more
…Joe drifts dramatically back to the ship, hand outstretched, by the power of the Force… Oh wait, I’m supposed to be making fun of a different series. Sorry, my bad. Don’t worry, I won’t spend the rest of the rewatch in a coma. Anyway, the episode. We open with a fairly straightforward mission. The Enterprise … Read more
Trigger warning: this episode rewatch discusses rape. And also disease spreading, which might be kind of stressful given, well, the current pandemic. The opening sequence, always succinct and informative, tells us that the Enterprise is investigating some strange messages coming from a research vessel, the SS Tsiolkovsky. (Trivia: this ship seems to have been named … Read more
Whoever did the narrator-voice that says “Last time, on Encounter at Farpoint…!”, they sound a lot like the guy who used to say “Last time, on Dragon Ball Z…!” Do they all take lessons together? Reporting to the captain, Commander Riker reminds us of some facts from the last episode: The planet has a lot … Read more
In rough order of appearance, here are the main characters we meet in the first episode: Captain Picard I…actually can’t think of that much to say about Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Hint: that means he’s pretty awesome and I can’t find anything to complain about. Being unable to pay him a higher compliment than that, I … Read more
To kick us off with style, Captain Picard, whose voice is so much fun to listen to, delivers exposition through the Captain’s Log. We’re introduced to some of the new main characters. Commander Data, Counselor Deanna Troi, Lieutenants Tasha Yar and Worf. And, of course, the charismatic, judgmental, and hypocritical entity known as Q. I’ll … Read more